I started writing this post last month and postponed it and forgot about it... so pretend that it was last month. :)

Happy New Year!!!

Today is the first day of the year 4047- the year of the boar. Last night Chris and I had a small get together with some close family and friends to try out some new traditions- kind of a dry run for years to come.

We bought dinner at a Chinese restaurant and brought it home... I am still fighting that horrible flu that is going around, so I wasn't up to making dim sum for multiple hours like I did last year. It turned out just fine anyway. The thing that I loved was that the people who showed up actually did their own research on Chinese New Year customs- like Shelly and Rob bringing a basket of oranges- 2 pairs (because it is good luck to bring an even number), and everyone wore red as a sign of happiness. Susan and Randy read up on the red envelope tradition, so I was presented with some little envelopes with money it in for Chris, me, and Olivia - I have no idea where they found them. Others wore red. My sister showed up with a beautiful painted banner that a man had printed up for her with symbols for good luck, prosperity and happines. Jeannine made really tasty crab rangoon dim sum. We had a very relaxing night- I did go a bit overboard with the decorations... that is kind of my thing when we have a party. You should see our luau decoration collection- 10 foot inflatable tiki god anyone? (Although that one was Chris' fault...)

My favorite thing about the party, is that it made Olivia seem just a little bit closer to us. I think a lot about her these days- I wonder when she will be born, when we get to pick her up, what her birthmother is like. That last one really has me wondering. Is it a young woman who is hoping her baby will be a boy, and who will be disappointed when she finds out it is a girl? It is someone who already has a child and this was an accident? Does she sit up at night and wonder what she will do when the child is born? You know you hear all of these horrible stories about people who try to get rid of their babies in a dumpster or hurt them (and much worse) and you just wonder why they couldn't just give the baby up to someone else. The greatest gift that one of these girls or women will give a daughter is to recognize that she can't take care of her and will have faith that there are people out there who will make sure she has a good life.

When we had to go to our adoption weekend event at WACAP we learned about "the triangle of grief" - the 3 parties in the process that feel pain. First of all, it is the child who will never know her birth family and will wonder about her background, the birth parents who know they cannot support a female child and will abandon her, hoping she will be taken care of by a family who will love her just as much as they will, and the adoptive parents who will wish they could have given life to this child and spared them the orphanage experience, and who will not have that biological link with the child. I know we will all be happy together but it is good to know that there are some baggage that we will all deal with. Who doesn't have that, you know?

So (and I really didn't intend for this to get super deep and sad- but there you go) Happy New Year everyone! Gong Xi Fa Cai !